Thursday, October 07, 2010

Exclusive First Look: The New Miniature Golf Course Custom-Built for the Obama Family on the White House Grounds!

This first look at the Obamas' new miniature golf course, constructed by union members at the low cost of $14 million, is a Doug Ross Exclusive™. Don't hate the playa, bloggers, hate the game.

Celebrate the passage of the Democrats' popular health care reform bill with the challenging first hole. Every 20 seconds, Speaker Nancy Pelosi's gavel slams down in front of the tee!

The BP-sponsored second hole features one of the more challenging obstacles in all of miniature golf: on a random schedule, an exploding rig sets fire to an oil slick on the four thousand gallon water hazard!

The gnarly, burned out row homes represent the successful Summer of Recovery in Detroit, Michigan.

Home of the housing meltdown and favorite employer of well-connected Democrats, this scale model of Fannie Mae's headquarters collapses -- sometimes with the ball trapped in it -- every 90 seconds!

Nothing says economic rebound like the record number of Americans on food stamps. Celebrate the Democrats' Nation of Food Stamps initiative by acing the fifth hole through challenging stacks of giant coupons earmarked for illegal immigrants.

The sixth hole commemorates one of Barack Obama's early successes: the Valerie-Jarret slum known as "Grove Parc" that cost taxpayers millions of dollars and was eventually condemned. Community-organizing at its finest!

Avoid the swinging batons at the challenging par-3 seventh hole, where New Black Panthers block your path to the symbolic voting booth (and hole)!

The Pelosi hole recognizes the most ideologically pure Speaker in American history, who conspired with our historic President to bribe, cajole, arm-twist and beat House members into submission. The tee-mat is an image of Bart Stupak upon which golfers are encouraged to wipe their feet.

The course's final hole is the most challenging: the giant pie-hole of union boss and presidential puppet-master Richard Trumka can literally slice a golf ball in half. Exercise great care if you cross the path of this beast.


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