Monday, February 16, 2009

Star Trek: The Stimulus Doomsday Machine




A badly garbled distress call was just received.


Captain, computer scanning recognized the name United States... then we lost the signal...


Our sensors show this entire region has been destroyed.


Nothing left but rubble and asteroids.


That's incredible...


Nonetheless, Captain, sensors show nothing but debris where we charted a vibrant and healthy society just a few years ago.


Continue search pattern, Mr. Sulu.


Every solar system... blasted into rubble, sir.


Last time we were here, George W. Bush was in command. What could have happened to them?


Sir, I'm picking up a faint disaster beacon...


It's another starship... it appears heavily damaged...


On-screen -- it's the USS Republican...


...disabled by whatever destroyed the United States...


He was attacked! Red alert! Man your battle stations.


...


Space. The final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise.


Its five-year mission to understand liberalism. Or progressivism. Or whatever it's called these days.


To seek out intelligence among the left.


To boldly go... where no sane person has gone before!


...


...Mr. Sulu...


Initiate a full scan of the area for any ships in the vicinity.


I can't raise anyone on the Rebublican.


Readings are difficult due to subspace interference, but the bridge has taken heavy damage and may be uninhabitable. The rest of the ship does seem capable of sustaining life.


All scanners show clear, Captain.


Sir... sensors indicate there is one person aboard... barely clinging to life...


Transporter room: beam him up... Dr. McCoy, meet him in the transporter room and be prepared for a trauma victim.


Sulu, stand down, let's go to yellow alert.


...


Jim, you better get down to sickbay... he's conscious, but still in shock.


On my way. See if you can find out what happened to the United States.


I'm a doctor, not a mind-reader... just get down here...


George W. Bush... what happened to the Republican? Where is the United States?


Jim? Jim Kirk?


George, it's me. What happened?


I... I...


Horrible... Dodd... Frank... Pelosi...


They say there's no devil, Jim... but there is...


Right out of hell... I saw it...


What? Dodd, Frank, Pelosi? They're imbeciles... they posed no threat to the United States the last time we came through...


New one... change... new one... change...


Snap out of it, George!! Tell me --


Jim, he's in shock!


If you'd seen it, you'd know... the whole thing's a weapon, designed to subvert entire societies... straight out of Marx...


It started with promises of "hope and change"... then a "stimulus"... largest spending increase in history... bankrupted the entire country...


Then it shut down all of our communications systems... radio... everything...


It destroys entire societies... chops it into rubble...


But what is it??


Captain! Bridge here! There's... there's...


On my way...


Captain... it's some kind of Marxist doomsday machine... spending as far as the eye can see... bankrupting entire countries with worthless programs that don't work...


It's opening hailing frequencies...


On screen.


USS Enterprise: embrace the hope and change. My name is Barack Obama.


Resistance is -- you guessed it -- futile.


I can destroy any society using the Alinsky playbook. Create class envy. Preach change and transparency. Pretend to embrace mainstream values.


And all the while, lie through your teeth. I read Alinsky.


Ah, a worthy adversary at last.


Unfortunately, Kirk, that sentence will be your last...


Captain! He's increased his spending to maximum... sucking us into his next "stimulus" bill...


To be continued...

Linked by: Ed Driscoll. Thanks!

13 comments:

Shanksow said...

Was there ever a part two?

Anonymous said...

That's right, a lazy "anonymous coward" here who doesn't want yet another "identity" on yet another blog site....

Sadly, Doug Ross's fantasy script above represents more fake left-right B.S. for the miserable Republicans to swallow hook, line and sinker.

"George" is no hero--he handed the baton to "Barack", who will hand it on to the next muppet until we Americans wake up to what's really going on and demand our freedom back.

That's right, this isn't left vs. right--it's liberty vs. tyranny, with the latter brought to you in living color by the world's elite and enforced by the nascent police state.

But don't believe me, just go back to sleep America, it will all be over soon enough. Or, if you really want to take the red pill, do your own research into who really runs the country and the world.

Anonymous said...

Every Repugnicant Con should be flushed with all of thier contrived shit- and take all the religious tripe with them. Glub glub.

myfinaloption said...

At 11:18 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Every Repugnicant Con should be flushed with all of thier contrived shit- and take all the religious tripe with them. Glub glub............learn 2 spell communist fool.

Harvey Mastersen said...

I loved this piece, a brilliant use of one of the classics from Star Trek. Seeing the Manchurian on the screen challenging Kirk with his marxism was hilarious and right on point, nicely done!!

I offer this use of Star Trek in similar vein, I think you will love it:
http://wp.me/pMW8w-u7
and then
http://wp.me/pMW8w-wy

Enjoy!!

Anonymous said...

Hey Anonymous:

>>>and take all the religious tripe with them


Yeah, I bet you bend over backward trying to please MOOOOSLIMS like the lying POS Imam Rauf. F-Off.

Anonymous said...

well that was some suck.
The only thing I found funny at all was the fact that little cry babies who bitch and scream with things like this....don't do fuck all in the real world to try and solve what they see as a "problem". Oh yes, much better to waste your time on this then ACTUALLY doing something.

Go outside failtard, might learn something.

Anonymous said...

BO stinks, but we all should familiarize ourselves with the term: Hegelian Dialectic, to understand how we are continually manipulated by those who want to accumulate power to be used to control our lives.

Anonymous said...

We should all familiarize ourselves with the term 'Hegelian Dialectic', to understand how we are being manipulated by those who want to control our lives. Both the 'right' and the 'left' are passionately against individual freedom and true liberty, and expend much effort to insure you are scared of other people having true freedom.

Anonymous said...

THis piece is absolutely brilliant! THe planet killer sized threat to our society is enspirited in obama and his ilk. For all you liberal mushheads out there, please please please explain to me how anything BO is doing is in the least sustainable. HIs effort to spend the living poop out of our country without any hope of paying back the crushing debt is litterally killing us. THere is only one word for BO... UNSUSTAINABLE. Is it possible maybe that word can penetrate the imbedded perceptions of all you hopeless BO supporters?

And by the way - for those who recognize that the Fed Reserve is a Foreign Private bank, that essentially controls our politicians and media, know that our best chance of getting rid of them is NOT the tax & spend democrats but rather the ones who are at least in favor of controlling the spending.

Anonymous said...

THis piece is absolutely brilliant! THe planet killer sized threat to our society is enspirited in obama and his ilk. For all you liberal mushheads out there, please please please explain to me how anything BO is doing is in the least sustainable. HIs effort to spend the living poop out of our country without any hope of paying back the crushing debt is litterally killing us. THere is only one word for BO... UNSUSTAINABLE. Is it possible maybe that word can penetrate the imbedded perceptions of all you hopeless BO supporters?

And by the way - for those who recognize that the Fed Reserve is a Foreign Private bank, that essentially controls our politicians and media, know that our best chance of getting rid of them is NOT the tax & spend democrats but rather the ones who are at least in favor of controlling the spending.

Anonymous said...

Right, like the cure to communism is fascism, or the cure to fascism is communism.

Keep voting for the "two" parties.

Anonymous said...

Hate is destroying America. Especially the hate of the Left, the hate of Democrats. Even when they get everything they want they're still enraged & spouting the endless hate ad nauseam. There's no satisfying the Left until they destroy everything. It's like a virus or mental illness.